Election Fever

'May the 6th is the date' a man standing at a bus stop tells his friend. 'They'll have the budget and then announce the election date, it is bound to be May 6th'.
The other man doesn't reply and doesn't look particulalrly interested but nods anyway.
'Who do you think will win?' the first man urges a response from his reticent friend. But the man says little simply shrugs his shoulders and mutters 'Dunno.'
'Hung parliament, no winners, Lib Dem will do their usual, scrounge around for a seat at the table, slimy lot. Mind you Alex Salmond should be involved in the leaders' debates to be broadcast.'
'Why?' the second man replies.
'Why?' the first man lets out a little squeal three octaves above what I thought was humanly possible. 'Because, like Wallace, he's the leader of the Scots.'
'Hardly' the second man shakes his head.
'What?' the first man utters.
'Wallace was a warrior, he wasn't elected, he lived in very different time, we didn't have a devolved parliament in those days, he ruled by bullying and threatening people. Mind you when I think of Alex Salmond they might be more similar than I had thought' he started laughing. The first man looked nonplussed. 'No' the second man started up again at length. 'Alex Salmond is the First Minister of a devolved parliament in Scotland, he isn't leading a party in a UK-wide election, he's not that important.'
'Not that important! Not that important!' the first man spluttered. 'He should be knighted, Sir Alex!'
'By a British government and a nation he doesn't want any part of? You're not making sense'
'He wants to keep the Queen!' the first man, his face reddening, replies.
'Where, in his sideboard' the second man now laughs out loud.
So what does all this mean? We will take independence but retain the Royal Family as head of state. What if the Royal Family don't want to be head of an independent Scotland?
Salmond, of course, is spitting feathers at the fact that he has not been invited to take part in the Leaders' debates on the run-up to the general election. He has been given a wee slot in a debate between the parties in Scotland, but for a man who happily surfs his own ego this is not enough. Salmond craves the big stage, though his judgement is often brought into question.
'Wasn't it Alex Salmond who also wanted to retain the services of former Royal Bank of Scotland Chief Executive Fred Goodwin?' the second man ponders.
Now the first man has fallen silent, staring at the sky for Golden Eagles (not often seen in Glasgow city centre) and whistling at the night as darkness begins to fall.

[ Read the rest ... ]